Family mediation: A complete guide
Family mediation can be a practical and cost-effective way to resolve issues that arise when a relationship breaks down. It provides a structured environment for families to reach a consensus, often avoiding the stress and expense of a lengthy court process.
Understanding family mediation
Family mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral third-party mediator will facilitate negotiation and discussion between a separating couple, so they can resolve issues together about their children’s and/or financial arrangements. It’s designed to promote forward-looking and pragmatic communication, to help participants express their views and work towards a consensus
Mediation is a voluntary and confidential process. The mediator can provide legal information but does not give legal advice. Mediation is known as a ‘without prejudice process’ which means that if a full consensus is not reached, discussions from the mediation cannot be referred to in court – although any financial information shared can be used.
When is family mediation helpful?
Family mediation can help with all types of family disputes but can be particularly helpful for separating couples who are facing challenges agreeing:
- How to divide their assets and map out their finances circumstances following separation;
- Where the family should live after separation;
- The children’s living arrangements, such as where the children will live and how much time they will spend with each parent; and/or
- Specific matters about children’s upbringing, like school choice or medical treatment.
The mediation process focuses on planning for the future of the separated family rather than revisiting the past and focusing on blame.
How does family mediation work?
Step 1: Initial suitability assessment (MIAM)
The family mediation journey begins with a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).
The mediator will speak separately with both potential participants in a confidential discussion.
This one-on-one session allows the mediator to understand the couple’s situation and priorities. It also enables the mediator to explain in more detail how the mediation process works and provide information on other Court and Non-Court Dispute Resolution processes available to the family.
During the MIAMs, the mediator will assess whether mediation is likely to be a suitable approach.
Step 2: Joint mediation sessions
Provided the mediator assesses that mediation is suitable and both participants agree to proceed, the joint mediation process can start.
Typically, joint mediation sessions are held in the same room but it may be possible to stay in separate rooms (when the mediator considers it appropriate) and conduct ‘shuttle mediation’.
Sometimes, mediation participants will choose to be legally represented during the mediation sessions. This is known as ‘solicitor-assisted mediation’.
It is always advisable to take independent legal advice alongside the mediation process. This ensures participants feel confident that they are on the ‘right track’ in the direct discussions and have a good understanding about their legal rights and options.
Every family is different so there is no time limit or fixed number of sessions for joint family mediation – needing between 3-6 sessions is not uncommon but it will depend on the number of issues that needs to be resolved.
For some families, hearing from the children may be helpful, so facilitating child-inclusive mediation may be appropriate.
Step 3: Consensus and documents
When a consensus has been reached, the mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding or Parenting Plan summarising the proposals the participants have agreed.
These documents are not legally binding on their own so, typically, will need to be converted into a financial consent order by a family solicitor that is approved by a judge in the family court. The participants will need to agree to make their parenting plan into an ‘open’ agreement or may choose to convert it into a child arrangements order.
Benefits of family mediation
Choosing mediation offers numerous advantages, including:
- Cost-effective: Mediation is good value for money and is often more affordable than court litigation
- Faster resolution: Consensus may be reached within weeks or months rather than years
- Control over decisions: Participants remain in control rather than relying on a judge to make decisions
- Reduced conflict: Encourages respectful dialogue and compromise
Is mediation legally required?
While attending joint family mediation is not legally required, if someone wishes to apply to the family court, in most cases, they must have first attended MIAM.
There are some exceptions to the MIAM requirement, for example if someone is a victim of domestic abuse. (More details about MIAM exceptions are available online here.)
Where an exception does not apply, the judges in the family court will expect applicants to have attempted some form of Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR) like family mediation and may pause court proceedings while NCDR is attempted.
Mediation is not suitable for everyone but, for many families, even where there has been high levels of conflict, mediation can be an effective way to resolve or narrow issues.
Costs of mediation
The cost of mediation varies depending on the complexity of the case and the number of joint sessions needed. However, it remains significantly cheaper than court proceedings.
What happens if mediation doesn’t work?
If mediation doesn’t lead to a consensus, other forms of NCDR can be attempted, such as arbitration or early neutral evaluation.
Ultimately, a court application could be made if NCDR processes are unsuccessful.
Taking legal advice from a specialist family law solicitor is recommended.
Family mediation case study
Case overview: Abigail and Graham disagreed about their two children’s living arrangements and about how to divide their property and assets after they separated. They each had solicitors, who suggested they tried mediation. After separate MIAMs, it was agreed with the mediator that they would proceed to joint mediation sessions.
Resolution: Through five joint mediation sessions, both participants identified their priorities while the mediator facilitated financial disclosure (ensuring transparency) and discussions so they could ‘road test’ proposals. It was proposed that Abigail remain in the family home while Graham accessed liquid savings to purchase a new property. It was also proposed that the children would live with both of their parents and a suitable routine was discussed.
Outcome: Mediation enabled Abigail and Graham to reach a mutually beneficial agreement that prioritised their children, without resorting to court, reducing delay, stress and legal costs.
Conclusion
Family mediation is a constructive way to navigate the challenges of separation or divorce. By fostering communication and collaboration, it offers a path toward amicable resolutions that prioritise the well-being of all participants and promotes the voice of the child.
If you’re considering family mediation, contact Clare Pilsworth or Helen Midgley.
