Families and divorce

Cyberstalking: How to combat the tech bullies

Written by Harry Calder on 10th September 2024 | 10 minute read

Technology has enabled new ways for people to harass ex-partners by tracking their movements and spying on their digital platforms. Solicitor Harry Calder explains how you can protect yourself from cyberstalking.

A report on Violence Against Women and Girls found that 36% of women in the UK have experienced online abuse on social media or other platforms. Of these women and girls, one in six also experience tech abuse from a partner or ex-partner.

This form of harassment, known as cyberstalking, has been made easier through the widespread use of location services on smartphones and the availability of spyware. It causes distress and sometimes fear of violence and is difficult to ignore, given the extensive role that smartphones and other technology have in our lives. It can also lead to unwanted physical contact.

How can I protect myself from cyberstalking?

Digital break up

When you part company with your partner, it's important to break any digital links you may have, such as shared passwords or PINs, or accounts on services such as Spotify or Netflix.

If you don’t cut these ties, you’re potentially leaving yourself open to an ex-partner using that digital access to spy on you, or intimidate you in other ways.

Turn off location services

Location services on our smartphones allow our precise locations to be shared with others, for example via social media apps and ‘find my phone’ services. Sometimes you might not even realise these are activated, enabling someone to track your whereabouts without your knowledge. Review the location settings of every app on your phone. You can turn off location services completely when you don’t need them. Bear in mind that emergency services can still determine your location when location services are turned off.

Change your passwords

New passwords should be set up for your all your digital accounts, whether it be social media, email or your bank. Passwords should be strong and unique to avoid an ex-partner being able to guess them. Using the same password for several accounts should be avoided. It’s also recommended to set up two-factor authentication on your accounts. This means that a code is sent to your phone after you enter your password to complete the login process. It’s also possible to check whether your password has been compromised in a data breach. This information can often be found in your phone’s security settings.

Update cloud account settings

Many couples or families share cloud accounts which link connected devices together and allow for information to be shared between them. For example, a family member may be able to see where your phone is if it’s lost, using ‘find my phone’ services. On the breakdown of a relationship, you may forget entirely that your devices are linked in this way and your ex-partner may be able to track your movements without you being aware.

If you no longer wish to have your device connected to your ex-partner’s in this way, you can update your cloud settings, or create a new cloud account.

Changing device settings which your ex-partner may have set up

Many partners buy smartphones for their partners or children and change the settings to enable them to track the device’s location. On the breakdown of a relationship these settings may still be in place and an ex-partner can track your device, or that of your children, without you being aware. Be cautious of gifts made to children after the relationship breakdown, such as phones, iPods/iPads, smart watches or other devices. The settings of these devices could be set up to share their location, allowing the ex-partner to stalk not only your children’s movements but also yours indirectly.

Social media activity and stalking

On social media, posts or photos uploaded by you, friends or family, can reveal your location to an ex-partner. Many social media accounts are open to the public and can be followed by ex-partners disguising themselves with fake names. Review your friends or followers lists and remove any accounts which you don’t recognise or are suspicious of. Alternatively, you can change your social media account’s privacy settings, so that only people you approve can view your account activity.

Tracking devices used by stalkers

Tracking devices, normally used to avoid losing items, have increasingly been used to track ex-partners. Devices such as the Apple AirTag, which is about the size of a 10 pence piece and cheap to buy, will send precise location information to the user. If you’re concerned that you might be being tracked, the first step to search places where a tracker could be hidden. Common places include: inside bags, pockets, vehicles. However, as these are small devices, they can often be well hidden. There are apps available that can scan for nearby trackers and identify an unknown device nearby using Bluetooth.

Spyware

Your digital activity can also be monitored through spyware. Software is available that would allow an ex-partner to read your texts, look at your photos and even access the camera of your smart phone. They may even be able to view you changing your password to prevent them accessing your accounts.

You can sometimes remove spyware from your device by deleting any suspicious apps that you did not download or do not use. The most comprehensive way to remove any spyware would be to perform a factory reset of your device, which wipes all the saved information from it, returning it to its condition when first bought. Before you do this, save your photos and other data to a different device. There are companies who can remove spyware from electronic devices, but that comes at a cost. You can consider simply buying a new device.

If you're concerned about covert recording devices in your home, there are companies who can conduct a ‘sweep’. If spyware is found you should seek professional advice immediately from a solicitor or the police.

Cyberstalking – how to get help

Cyberstalking is a criminal offence under The Protection from Harassment Act 1997. If you’re worried about cyberstalking from an ex-partner or anybody else, you should reach out for help at the earliest opportunity. A family solicitor can give you legal advice and support and point you in the direction of other support agencies. You can also call the police. Here are some suggestions for organisations that are there to help: