Families and divorce

Have you agreed on Christmas holiday arrangements for your children?

Written by Ellie Hills on 25th November 2022 | 4 minute read

The holiday season can be stressful for divorced parents. In this article, we will discuss how to best plan for the festive period.

Every year our family law solicitors advise parents who are facing difficult questions around the Christmas holidays following separation. For a lot of families, issues tend to centre around deciding who the children will spend Christmas day or New Year with and what happens when a parent faces spending a period of the festive season without seeing their children.

Plan ahead where possible

Most families adjust to life after separation with children spending time during the festive period with both parents. If handled sensitively, children adjust quickly and look forward to the opportunity to share their Christmas holiday celebrations with both parts of their family.

Usually, it is the parents who find adjusting to not being able to be with their child over the entire Christmas period the hardest. The key is to plan ahead, don’t leave difficult decisions to the last minute and have an open line of communication with your co-parent, if possible

Consider the bigger picture

Some parents tell us that they dread the onset of the festive period and struggle to accept the new arrangements. Long term, the aim is to be able to co-parent over the holiday periods and in such a way that your child will understand that both parents love them and want to spend positive periods of time with them. However, we understand that separation can be a bumpy road, so it’s easier for some to achieve this than others.

The welfare and best interests of your child are the most important factors to be considered and it is often difficult for parents to come to terms with not seeing their child on Christmas Day when this has been the norm previously. Focus instead on making the time that you will spend with your child during the festive period a special occasion.

If your co-parenting relationship allows it, consider whether you could facilitate a short video call with your co-parent and your child over the festive period if they are not going to be spending time with them, allowing your child to share the special occasion with both their parents.

Call our specialist solicitors on 0808 231 1320

Talk to each other

If there are no welfare issues and you are struggling to reach an agreement with your co-parent about sharing a festive period, it’s usually quicker and cheaper to try to resolve matters by agreement rather than going to court. This can include using the services of a mediator, who is a neutral third party trained to help facilitate conversations between you and your co-parent on topics where you do not agree. They will arrange a meeting with your former partner, and their solicitor (if any/appropriate) to agree how childcare over the Christmas holidays will be split. Communication is key: airing your thoughts normally pays off, allowing you to negotiate a fair, practical agreement over the festive season well in advance.

Ensuring your child can spend time with both parents and their extended family is often a consideration. Your plans don’t have to focus around the grandparents’ availability but making sure your child can see their extended family over the Christmas holidays is important to the entire family.

Don’t leave your plans to the last minute

If you think Christmas is going to be a problem, seek legal advice well in advance. This will give you time to reach an agreement that suits the needs of both parents and your children.

If you’re struggling to agree on plans this year—or any other time of year—try speaking to a neutral third party or mediator to help you plan as much as possible. Clare Pilsworth and Helen Midgeley are mediators based in our Cambridge and Bishop’s Stortford offices, respectively, and they would be happy to discuss making the most of the festive period this year with you and your co-parent.